Wednesday, September 19, 2012

More than just a gaffe, or, Mitt Romney was born a poor black child

So Romney is failing miserably at convincing voters that he has the economic credentials to 'fix' the economy, which is THE single issue he is resting his campaign on (at least part of his staff thinks so, the other half not so much

And according to his economic training at the School-For-Rich-People-Who-Need-To-Allay-Their-Guilt-For-Being-Rich, 47% percent of Americans are freeloading non-tax payers who depend on Obama to wipe their asses and feed them their food-stamped Mac 'n' Cheese, while the real Americans, like him pay lots and lots of taxes.

Which is funny because he doesn't pay income taxes, so he must not care about himself, or people like him who also don't pay income tax and benefit from Government largess, so what he really means is he does care about those of us who do pay taxes and struggle day to day, so in a brilliant campaign move he is reaching out to progressive voters and bucking his rich backers. He really cares! Vote Romney!

Or maybe he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about

He is also failing to prove his foreign policy chops by yelling at the President for a statement never made about an attack that hadn't happened as of said statement. Because the best way to handle an extremely explosive situation is by defending and offensive film with worse production value than porn, in which the only way to convince people to participate is by lying to them and dubbing over their lines with vitriolic hate-mongering bullshit

If the half of his campaign that realizes his economic record is weak wins over the other half, then what they have left is foreign policy, which even prior to Romney's glowing review of "the Innocence of the Muslims" was confused and unapologetically misinformed.

So to conclude, we got this. Even conservative's attempt at suppressing the vote is struggling to survive

And when a 12 year old from Colorado knows that you don't have a chance, you know you're screwed

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Republican Conceptual Art, or, the Seat of DOOOOOM!

(Originally posted for Drinking Liberally Philadelphia

No one moment defines the current wave of 16th century inspired Conservatism (Neo-Proto-Conrvatism?) than Clint Eastwood's debate with a chair.

Now I don't necessarily agree that he's senile or possibly insane, I actually kind of agree with Bill Maher, Eastwood was asked to surprise the Convention, and as an entertainer he chose to attempt a highly conceptual comedy bit casually asking questions on every Republican's mind. Where I disagree with Maher is that Eastwood failed miserably, he tried to do something different and simply failed.

Eastwood failed in creating a conceptually coherent bit because the premise was inherently false, in between rambling and even going off accepted Republican script by criticism the war in Afghanistan, he didn't ask any valid questions for their opponent, only what Republicans imagine of their opponent.

There in-lies Republican's conceptual problem, their qualms with Obama are not based in fact, but pure racism and fear. The conceptual Obama falls apart because the answers Republicans expect are not answered by actual policy or the downfall of America, but are answered by the loudest and most racist of the movement.

First we have Walker Texas Ranger prophesying 1000 years of darkness if Barack Beelzebub Obama is reelected

Then the son of a country legend who's career highlight is a football theme song states that there's a secret (but not so secret because are you ready for some football) Gay Muslim in the White House who hates farming, fishing and Daisy Duke

Then there's this Tea Party peach who is soundly taken down by Soledad O'Brien and our very own mayor Michael Nutter She says that Obama sucks because he is not making rash decisions and forcing US will on French Cheese-Eating-Surrender-Monkeys and invading...uh...I think it was Syria, yeah I heard about that on the news recently.

My point is that these people aren't crazy, they aren't senile, they are just wrong. Their arguments are coming from an imaginary black guy sitting in a chair who is different than you and very scary who unfortunately for them doesn't actually exist.

What the Dems need to do this week is set up a chair of their own and have Biden ask why Republicans are constantly saying 'no' to Obama while never presenting any viable alternatives. The non-existent person represented by the empty seat would be an accurate representation of Republicans because they haven't provided any real policy alternative, only fear, racism and old celebrities who were in that thing I watched that one time on AMC.