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Showing posts from October, 2012

Cheaters Always Win, or, Can Anyone Tell Me How One Might Launder My Drug Money?

I know I bitch about jobs and the economy a lot. I mean, being barely employed and dealing with my bank puts me in a mood. But today amidst my post-bank-conversation bitterness, I got to thinking, I'm trying to do this the right way. I don't spend money frivolously, I work hard when there is work, and only spend the earnings on bills and my once-a-week sanity maintenance regimen of beers and politics. But the bank couldn't forgive this fee, or release that check, because I went to Starbucks last week and bought a small coffee, which clearly means I'm irresponsible. Fuck You bank. Fuck you lots. Stomping around Center City I had an "Office Space" moment: I thought, "I've done things right so far and I'm still getting shat upon. So why not cheat? Why not break the rules? Why not steal and embezzle and con my way through life, because it seems that is the only way to survive these days." Then I realized that I don't know

Obama Won the Debate, or, Spot the Sly Stallone Movie Reference and I'll Buy You A Drink.

Despite Obama's supposed loss to Romney during the first debate, it was incredibly fun to watch Chris Matthews lose his shit over Obama's debate performance. By MSNBC's reaction you would have thunk that it was election night, Romney wins, and after  being sworn in he removes his mask to reveal he was George W. Bush in disguise the whole time (so that's where he's been). "Hey ev'rybody! 'Meber me! I had Carl Rove kill Mittens 4 years ago! Hey ev'rybody, who wants to invade Iran!" So why does everyone think that Obama lost so badly? Expectations. What we expected was to see a blundering, bewildered gaffe-ridden Romney get spanked by one of the greatest orators in Presidential history. But according to the All-Day Opinion Generating Media Machine what we saw was was a gestural and aggressive Romney laying a beat-down on the contained and weak Obama. What actually happened was two carefully thought out campaign strategies played

Romney, former Governor & Sears Portrait Photographer, or, Who Broke the Etch-A-Sketch

Quick question, wasn't the Romney campaign supposed to shake their candidate up like an Etch-A-Sketch to erase his far-right opinions that carried him all the way to the nomination? Weren't those extreme policies purposed to position him in on par with Pawlenty Santorum and Bachmann? And once he was the nominee, wasn't he supposed to return to the center to appeal to a larger electorate? Erase the lines carved from the surface, drawn so far to the right he was barely recognizable as the former Governor of Massachusetts? Wasn't the plan to shake the newly minted nominee and reset his image now that he doesn't have to compete with others for the love and acceptance of a small group of costumed crazy-people occupying the lunatic fringe, carrying poorly spelled and often racist signs? Their Etch-A-Sketch must be broken, it's knobs stuck, only able to go to the right, the drawing moving slowly in circles down and to the right, down and to the righ